The Internet is Great!

To whoever is reading this, I, being the extraordinary host that I am, welcome you to a miniscule and immensely insignificant portion of the Internet. Ah, the Internet, such an alluring mystery. Just as beautiful as a waterfall, and just as powerful, it is successful in delivering gallons upon gallons of information to our minds, effectively eroding our curiosity into a perfectly flat river bed. Everything the human race has discovered can be uncovered through clicking on bolded, underlined, blue-coated words over and over and over again. It’s so wonderful to have all of this available to us, isn’t it? I mean it’s not like you just become accustomed to scrolling through information without really processing it, right? Pffffff of course not!

A few days ago, the globe celebrated what was the 25th anniversary since the launch of this World Wide Web. It’s honestly quite the accomplishment. Just look at what we’ve done with that fantastic discovery! We’ve redefined the purpose of the whole thing! The Internet went from being a very new, interesting, and intriguing concept to a bland extension of our own selves. Gone are the days of physical human interaction! Ha, what is that when you have Instagram to scroll through. Or rather Facebook, where you can bask in the glorious philosophical posts made by your cousins and friends. Truthfully, it would be impossible for me to feel any more alive!

But why dwell in the past, when there is so much more to be done in the future? It is obvious that the internet has some problems, but we can fix them! First thing’s first, we must protect what is well and good for our baby. This includes the saturated, oversensitive, aggressive, double-standard accepting, and overall beautiful little community that has risen up from the ashes, as well as all those nice folks people like to call “hackers” or something, that dwell in the in-I-mean-positively-famous Dark Web. Also, we must try to make a larger spread of information accessible to more people, in order to help corporations in need grow economically, like Google, for example. In effect, this will trigger more and more people to think less and less, and make it much easier for them not to find their passions or interests!

Ah, the Internet. I love the Internet!